Interrupted Life

It’s been a while since I have written anything. It was because of the illness that doesn’t need a name. I think I was coming down with it for several weeks before I was tested for it. I’m going to say that I am not a doctor; I am only telling my experience, I’m not giving medical advice. They say my symptoms were mild. And ten days later, I was to return to work. I have returned to work, but I can not do the work I used to do. And I understand the symptoms I had were not severe but that word implies that it wasn’t hard to get over it. I heartily feel sorrow for the extreme cases because it is a lot of work to get well! And that is my purpose today. To tell my story.

I haven’t been fearful of needing hospitalization at any time yet. And I say yet because I’m still waiting three weeks after returning to work to feel better for more than one day in a row. I think I’m an active person, an average 13,000 to 18,000 steps a day. It’s all walking performing my job. And then I go home. And the first day back to work, 13,000 steps was too much. I stayed home the next day. I have learned over the last couple of years that staying home and doing nothing is not good for me. I can have periods of severe anxiety and depression. So I want to work I want to be active. So staying home sick another day was not what I wanted to do. Because my symptoms were not severe the treatment was rest and stay home. That didn’t help my anxiety. I wish I could say here that I found a solution but I haven’t. But I think about things differently.

I’ve also believed that you can not go through life doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different outcome. It doesn’t happen. So I am always looking for answers or trying something new. And I refuse to be one of those people who says, “I don’t understand this new technology” or “I’m too old to learn something new.” But getting back to where I was before this is the most complex challenge I think I’ve faced. The experts say active, but then say rest. I’m doing that. Time, give it time, they say. I feel that it is interrupting my life. I have other things to accomplish. Health is very important and determination are also crucial with this illness that won’t be named. It takes work to recover. I hope you never get it! But I am also thankful for having got it because the experience has taught me so much.

I have learned not to take life for granted. Be mindful of life because it is precious; it can change in a second. Don’t take your health for granted; make an effort to stay healthy. And don’t just live for the weekend, live every day with purpose.

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